Grace Upon Grace

When Suffering Lingers

Sometimes suffering goes on and on.  We see no end to our heartache and chronic pain.  How should we respond when suffering lingers?

Unfortunately, my husband, Steve, struggles with debilitating every-other-day migraine.  Like clockwork, he basically spends every second day in a dark room, lying in bed, trying to manage his pain.  Steve’s migraine pattern has become more frequent over this twenty-five-year journey.  It’s been a long run.  And to complicate the situation, secondary morbidities including  weariness, depression, anxiety, and social isolation, are showing a full court press.

We Do Not Suffer Alone

I write this as an outsider.  Steve carries the pain.  If Steve authored this piece, he’d have a different take.  But my life too, resolves around my husband’s suffering.  I watch, try to support, and attempt to encourage Steve.  Granted, suffering has a ripple effect.  We do not suffer alone.  For better or for worse, our pain influences others.  And the world is watching.  So, as a married couple who loves and serves Jesus, how to we react when suffering lingers?

Steve and I stumble along.  Our goal is to hold hands and look upward as we journey through life.  But unfortunately, our response to persistent suffering is often very raw.  Unashamedly, Steve and I wrestle with God.  We cry out, ask why, and seek rescue.  We pray for healing and for grace upon grace to get through another day.  With desperation, we plead with God to be present and to walk with us.

Looking for Answers

Admittedly, our understanding of God’s goodness is stretched.  We have so many questions, with incomplete answers.  To me, God’s character is like a complicated jigsaw puzzle that Steve and I are constantly working on, but never finish.  The puzzle pieces are small with little variation in size and color.  The puzzle remains on our dining room table because we never finish it, although we try.

Without a doubt, we desperately seek to frame Steve’s suffering in relation to God’s character.  How does this puzzle piece fit?  Assuredly, we know God is good.  But how does that make sense, when God allows pain and suffering?   Our puzzle remains incomplete.  We acknowledge that faith includes mystery.  Questions will remain, until we meet Jesus face-to-face.

Jesus Has Overcome the World

“Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows.  But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33b 

This verse confirms, there will be pain in this world.  Yet, we always seem shocked when it happens.  As a western society, we desperately try to eliminate suffering.  We promote health, wealth, and prosperity.  We seek to fix the problem.  Hence finding solutions to our suffering becomes our vicious and time-consuming pursuit.  We never want to give up.  Proposed answers are occasionally promising.  Yet, more often, these solutions lead to dashed hope and disappointment.   Again.

Others offer help.  With concern and sincerity, our friends and family rally around us.  Yes, they pray.  Yes, they comfort.  But they also want to fix our suffering.  They have suggestions and remedies to share.  Yet unintentionally, their help often feels like a hidden challenge.  You aren’t doing enough. Surely, there is an answer. You just need to try harder. 

Steve is so weary.  So very, very, weary.  

He longs for heaven.

God’s Holy Alliance

Without a doubt, suffering can be all-consuming and self-absorbing.  Sufferers tend to look inward verses outward.  Although difficult, God gently nudges us to lift our eyes.  When we do, Jesus is the first image we see.  He’s sitting in the dirt with us!  Has He been here all along?  As our eyes continue to roam, we realize there are others, fellow suffers, not far away, also sitting in the dirt.  With deep compassion, Jesus reveals that we are not alone. 

In fact, a holy alliance has formed.  Jesus, along with Steve and I and fellow sufferers, are members of this holy alliance.  The alliance is built on shared suffering.  Through this dirty, holy, alliance, we are slowly and painfully identifying with Jesus’ suffering,  Surprisingly, at the same time, we are also celebrating in Jesus’ amazing love for us.  The paradox continues.

Could it be that suffering isn’t so much a problem to be fixed, but a transformational journey to be embraced?  

When Suffering Lingers

Consequently, when suffering lingers, Steve and I carry on.  We do not give up.  We lean into Jesus.  We long for heaven.  

With tears, we embrace the words to this song.  https://youtu.be/johgSkNj3-A?si=s50hhRvSdFZ3VIZB The Battle Belongs to the Lord, by Phil Wickham.

Dear Jesus, Steve and I confess that this is a difficult journey.  But through it, we desire to remain faithful to You and to each other.  We want to demonstrate to the world that you are good, your grace sustains, and you walk with us.  May it be so.  Amen!

Questions to Consider:

1. How do you view God in the face of persistent suffering?
2. How can a person be transformed when suffering lingers?