When Normal Isn’t What It Seems

When Normal Isn’t What It Seems

We are remarkably good at looking normal while hiding our pain. We are experts at faking it.  A polished cover-up keeps others from noticing what’s really going on.

But there’s a danger When Normal Isn’t What It Seems.  We find ourselves blind and unprepared to walk with those who are hurting.

Looking for the Clues

My husband, Steve, wears dark glasses all the time. They’ve become such a constant part of his appearance that most people don’t give them a second thought.

But behind those layers—regular glasses, dark clip-ons, and larger wrap-around shades—lies a story few see.

Why so many layers?

The Great Cover-Up

Steve is extremely light sensitive. Bright light triggers painful migraines. Therefore, the sunglasses are his shield.

What most people don’t realize is that those glasses also disguise something deeper. They cover not only his eyes but also his pain. With great effort, Steve pushes himself to blend in, to look like everyone else.

The truth? His suffering is invisible. Even to me, his wife, his eyes are often hidden. I rarely get to see them.

Speaking with Our Eyes

We communicate so much through our eyes. They reveal emotion, tenderness, and humor.

But when I look at Steve, I see a black, plastic film concealing what lies within. I’m left guessing.

Oh, how I miss his bright, engaging green eyes.

When Normal Isn’t What It Seems

Here’s the tricky part. Hidden pain makes it nearly impossible to fully grasp the seriousness of what someone is enduring. If I, as his life partner, sometimes miss it—how much harder is it for others?

Invisible pain is real. And it’s everywhere.

Responding with Empathy

Because pain often hides, it requires eyes of compassion to truly see. Scripture reminds us of this truth:

“For the Lord sees not as man sees. Man looks on the outward appearance. But the Lord looks on the heart.” —1 Samuel 16:7b

If God looks past appearances, shouldn’t we?  Let’s ask Him for wisdom to see beyond the mask.  Let’s strive to recognize unseen struggles, and step toward those who are hurting.

Prayer

Dear Jesus, open my eyes to the quiet pain in others. Teach me to notice what’s unseen and to offer comfort where it’s needed most. I pray this in Your precious and powerful name. Amen.

Questions to Consider

1. How can we see past the illusion of normal in others?
2. Why do you think people hide their pain?
3. If you are hurting, what do you wish others understood?